I don't think I have a "normal" brain.
Right now, where I live there aren't too many people. It's the calm before the storm. In the mornings I go for a walk and on that walk I will encounter a few people. It's not like a city street where there are so many people you can just ignore them all. It's 5 minutes of walking alone and then you see a person heading in your direction. Three minutes and here comes another one.
The moment I see a person my brain goes into hyperdrive. Should I pretend I don't see them? (Not possible) Should I ignore them? (That's rude). Should I just smile? Should I add a head nod? Should I say "Hello"?. I am actually stressed out about which way I should handle this passing stranger. Sometimes I imagine myself diving head first into the nearest bushes until they pass so as to avoid all interaction.
Generally what happens is I look up at them and let them take the lead. If they don't look at me I am off the hook. Hooray! If they are smiling I smile back which often times leads to a hello or a head nod. The thing is....it's not a big deal. Except it is, to me, in that moment. I'm not sure why though unless it stems from my hatred of small talk. Or some kind of fear of rejection left over from my precious school days.
I am the type of girl who will pretend not to see someone she hasn't seen in years if she runs into them somewhere because, well, I have no idea what to say. There is no such thing as "small talk" with me. I hate it. And when I try to engage in it I just fumble awkwardly along, over analyzing every syllable that comes out of my mouth. I don't want to talk about the weather or the red sox. If I am going to have a conversation with you I want it to be real. I want it count. I want it to matter.
I want to know how you feel, how you really feel. I want to know what you think, even if it's not what I think. I want to have meaningful conversation, even if it's just about an album. I do not want to waste my time talking about who Arnold Schwarzenegger boned 10 years ago. I don't care.
Tell me what your dreams are, and I'll tell you mine.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Sunday, January 2, 2011
What happens when two introverts try to plan a big wedding
This blog is going to be in two parts. Part I is entitled "Tara drops the bomb...but it's going to be ok!" Or alternately "Hate weddings? You're welcome!" And Part II will be entitled "Let me explain..." or "We didn't feel this way about YOUR wedding. We thought it was just lovely!"
Part I
Looking back I'm not sure what we were thinking. Well, yes I do. We were thinking "What a fantastic opportunity to get all of our friends (who are scattered all over the country) together in one place for a big party! Yay!" The thought of that was so exciting that we kind of forgot who we were, and what we're about.
Now before you all go crossing "Tara & Scott's Wedding" off of your calendars stop. You're not exactly off the hook. We're still having a party, and we still fully expect you to be there. And actually this will allow us to invite even MORE of you! (And if your name is "Breck Sargent" we're going to need your services...twice.) There will be some rules for this party and the rules are as follows (We could potentially add more, but for now this is it)
1) Wear what you want. Need an excuse to get dressed up? Feel free. I'll probably be prancing around in my wedding dress (which won't look like one because David's Bridal makes me want to barf). Don't feel like getting out of your pajamas? Word...I don't usually either.We just want you to be happy.
2) Do NOT feel like you need to bring us gifts. While we absolutely appreciate the thought and the gesture we will not be registering. We have two apartments worth of stuff in this house. Actually probably slightly more because Scott saves a lot of stuff. Like old hardcore show fliers, and things that resemble a keytar, but aren't really. If you feel like you simply must get us something we will send a list of charities you can donate too in our name. We would love that.
3) You can still bring your dancing shoes. It's encouraged, actually. There will be copious amounts of vinyl and a lot of Michael Jackson. Sierra is a dancing machine and would appreciate some worthy dance partners.
4) If you live out of state please make reservations at a hotel early. We'll send you information shortly. It's cape cod, in the summer and we *really* want to see you!
Part II
I'm going to start this section off by listing reasons having a big fancy wedding is a bad idea for us. I'm in a making lists kind of mood. And then I will explain them in detail. For the record these are not in any particular order.
1) The money we could be spending on this wedding could be a decent chunk of a house down payment
2) Big wedding = no honeymoon
3) We don't like the spotlight
4) We don't dig extravagant stuff
5) The Christmas analogy
OK! So here's the thing...this is my second wedding. Which means my parents have foot the bill for this before. This time I'm on my own. I've been through a divorce. I was a single mother. We don't have *that* much saved. And what we do have saved, we are having a hard time parting with for one.day. Sure, we could take out a loan but really? We're going to start our marriage in debt for one day? Ehhhhh. I don't think that's a terribly wise decision. In fact, it seems pretty stupid. Buy a house OR Throw a big party? Hmm....Apparently I've matured over the past 15 years because I'm leaning towards the house.
2) So say we decide whatever with the house! Let's spend the savings! Woo wedding time! Ok great...we still don't have enough to then go on a honeymoon. And I'm not sure about you, but that part seems like a lot of fun. I've spent the last 15 years of my life, longing to walk the streets of London. And Scott would love to go back. When a wedding gown costs as much as a round trip plane ticket to England which one would you pick? I'm a plane ticket kinda lady myself.
3) Neither one of us likes the spotlight. I actually actively try to run from it. I have a hard enough time talking to/in front of ONE person I just met. And Scott does not like talking to crowds. So now we are expecting ourselves to profess our deepest undying love and gratitude to each other in front of 75-100 staring people. Really? I'm sure that will go well. I'm sure Tara won't stutter, or maybe pass out. And Scott's hands won't go clammy and he won't forget what he was trying to say or anything. I'm sure it will go splendidly! Everyone knows that socially awkward people LOVE being the center of attention. Ok Scott might not be socially awkward, but I certainly am.
4) We're not flashy people. I was dragged to wedding gown stores twice and both times I hated everything in them. We do not enjoy "bling" which every dress seemed to be adorn with. I don't like veils. My ability to walk in heels is sketchy at best. We don't like chocolate fountains, ice sculptures, cigar rollers, toasts, people clinking their glasses with knives to make us kiss, having people announce us, having to dance while people stare at us, shoving cake in each others faces, throwing flowers while single girls scramble to catch them (even though it has no effect on their love life whatsoever), Garter Belts, the funky chicken.
5) So what happened when we started to plan a wedding feels a little bit like what happened to Christmas. It became about the place, the food, the booze, the flowers, the dress, the place settings, who are we inviting, who can we afford to invite, whose feelings are going to get hurt.
I wanted us to write our own vows, but quickly realized I couldn't read them in front of all those people. It would be too personal, too intimate a thing to recite in front of all of those people. And then I realized this was turning into a what felt to me like an elaborate production. Like we were gearing up to go on stage. If I couldn't write what I felt in my heart and read it to my almost husband....what kind of marriage ceremony is that? Not the one for us....
A marriage isn't about whose feelings are going to get hurt. It's not about flowers that no one remembers or a flashy dress (unless you want it to be, in which case more power to you). It's about two best friends who are promising to stand by each other until the end. And those two best friends should be able to do that in whichever way they choose, which is exactly what we are doing.
Part I
Looking back I'm not sure what we were thinking. Well, yes I do. We were thinking "What a fantastic opportunity to get all of our friends (who are scattered all over the country) together in one place for a big party! Yay!" The thought of that was so exciting that we kind of forgot who we were, and what we're about.
Now before you all go crossing "Tara & Scott's Wedding" off of your calendars stop. You're not exactly off the hook. We're still having a party, and we still fully expect you to be there. And actually this will allow us to invite even MORE of you! (And if your name is "Breck Sargent" we're going to need your services...twice.) There will be some rules for this party and the rules are as follows (We could potentially add more, but for now this is it)
1) Wear what you want. Need an excuse to get dressed up? Feel free. I'll probably be prancing around in my wedding dress (which won't look like one because David's Bridal makes me want to barf). Don't feel like getting out of your pajamas? Word...I don't usually either.We just want you to be happy.
2) Do NOT feel like you need to bring us gifts. While we absolutely appreciate the thought and the gesture we will not be registering. We have two apartments worth of stuff in this house. Actually probably slightly more because Scott saves a lot of stuff. Like old hardcore show fliers, and things that resemble a keytar, but aren't really. If you feel like you simply must get us something we will send a list of charities you can donate too in our name. We would love that.
3) You can still bring your dancing shoes. It's encouraged, actually. There will be copious amounts of vinyl and a lot of Michael Jackson. Sierra is a dancing machine and would appreciate some worthy dance partners.
4) If you live out of state please make reservations at a hotel early. We'll send you information shortly. It's cape cod, in the summer and we *really* want to see you!
Part II
I'm going to start this section off by listing reasons having a big fancy wedding is a bad idea for us. I'm in a making lists kind of mood. And then I will explain them in detail. For the record these are not in any particular order.
1) The money we could be spending on this wedding could be a decent chunk of a house down payment
2) Big wedding = no honeymoon
3) We don't like the spotlight
4) We don't dig extravagant stuff
5) The Christmas analogy
OK! So here's the thing...this is my second wedding. Which means my parents have foot the bill for this before. This time I'm on my own. I've been through a divorce. I was a single mother. We don't have *that* much saved. And what we do have saved, we are having a hard time parting with for one.day. Sure, we could take out a loan but really? We're going to start our marriage in debt for one day? Ehhhhh. I don't think that's a terribly wise decision. In fact, it seems pretty stupid. Buy a house OR Throw a big party? Hmm....Apparently I've matured over the past 15 years because I'm leaning towards the house.
2) So say we decide whatever with the house! Let's spend the savings! Woo wedding time! Ok great...we still don't have enough to then go on a honeymoon. And I'm not sure about you, but that part seems like a lot of fun. I've spent the last 15 years of my life, longing to walk the streets of London. And Scott would love to go back. When a wedding gown costs as much as a round trip plane ticket to England which one would you pick? I'm a plane ticket kinda lady myself.
3) Neither one of us likes the spotlight. I actually actively try to run from it. I have a hard enough time talking to/in front of ONE person I just met. And Scott does not like talking to crowds. So now we are expecting ourselves to profess our deepest undying love and gratitude to each other in front of 75-100 staring people. Really? I'm sure that will go well. I'm sure Tara won't stutter, or maybe pass out. And Scott's hands won't go clammy and he won't forget what he was trying to say or anything. I'm sure it will go splendidly! Everyone knows that socially awkward people LOVE being the center of attention. Ok Scott might not be socially awkward, but I certainly am.
4) We're not flashy people. I was dragged to wedding gown stores twice and both times I hated everything in them. We do not enjoy "bling" which every dress seemed to be adorn with. I don't like veils. My ability to walk in heels is sketchy at best. We don't like chocolate fountains, ice sculptures, cigar rollers, toasts, people clinking their glasses with knives to make us kiss, having people announce us, having to dance while people stare at us, shoving cake in each others faces, throwing flowers while single girls scramble to catch them (even though it has no effect on their love life whatsoever), Garter Belts, the funky chicken.
5) So what happened when we started to plan a wedding feels a little bit like what happened to Christmas. It became about the place, the food, the booze, the flowers, the dress, the place settings, who are we inviting, who can we afford to invite, whose feelings are going to get hurt.
I wanted us to write our own vows, but quickly realized I couldn't read them in front of all those people. It would be too personal, too intimate a thing to recite in front of all of those people. And then I realized this was turning into a what felt to me like an elaborate production. Like we were gearing up to go on stage. If I couldn't write what I felt in my heart and read it to my almost husband....what kind of marriage ceremony is that? Not the one for us....
A marriage isn't about whose feelings are going to get hurt. It's not about flowers that no one remembers or a flashy dress (unless you want it to be, in which case more power to you). It's about two best friends who are promising to stand by each other until the end. And those two best friends should be able to do that in whichever way they choose, which is exactly what we are doing.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Loss.
When I was 5 years old I learned to ride my bicycle without training wheels. I remember it like it was yesterday. My Grandfather (Papa) took me out front of the house and he held on to the back of my seat, running behind as I rode down the street. At one point I turned around to head back and saw him standing 20 feet away from me. He had let go....I got scared, wobbled a bit, but managed to keep it together and rode back to him.
A year ago my Papa was slipping away from us, after a courageous battle with ALS. Thursday marks the one year anniversary of his passing. I have a lot of emotions right now, but I am feeling especially discouraged because an entire year has passed and I don't think that hole in my heart has closed at all. I told myself eventually it would get smaller, or at least just not seem so....gaping.
It hasn't. When my family and I get together I feel like it's written all over our faces. It's as if we are almost shadows of who we used to be. We just don't feel whole anymore, I guess because we aren't. I've been worrying about us a lot, wondering if we'll ever be happy again. This morning I have decided that I need to cut us some slack. I think my "it will be a bit better in a year" prediction was overly optimistic.
My Grandfather was my rock, he was the person you could go to when you felt sad or scared and he knew just what to say. He was the person who could take a screaming, inconsolable infant and calm them down in an instant. He could hug you, and no matter what you were going through you felt safe.
I feel like that bicycle story is a good analogy for what we are all going through right now. All along we knew we had Papa to hold us up, and a year ago he had to let go. It's just going to take us all longer than an instant to be able to stop wobbling. And then one day eventually ride back to him.
A year ago my Papa was slipping away from us, after a courageous battle with ALS. Thursday marks the one year anniversary of his passing. I have a lot of emotions right now, but I am feeling especially discouraged because an entire year has passed and I don't think that hole in my heart has closed at all. I told myself eventually it would get smaller, or at least just not seem so....gaping.
It hasn't. When my family and I get together I feel like it's written all over our faces. It's as if we are almost shadows of who we used to be. We just don't feel whole anymore, I guess because we aren't. I've been worrying about us a lot, wondering if we'll ever be happy again. This morning I have decided that I need to cut us some slack. I think my "it will be a bit better in a year" prediction was overly optimistic.
My Grandfather was my rock, he was the person you could go to when you felt sad or scared and he knew just what to say. He was the person who could take a screaming, inconsolable infant and calm them down in an instant. He could hug you, and no matter what you were going through you felt safe.
I feel like that bicycle story is a good analogy for what we are all going through right now. All along we knew we had Papa to hold us up, and a year ago he had to let go. It's just going to take us all longer than an instant to be able to stop wobbling. And then one day eventually ride back to him.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Things that make me happy
So those of you that know me know that I am not an excitable girl. I don't get all "squeeee omg" like most girls. It's just not in my nature. However today I picked up our first share of this years CSA and I literally skipped back to the car with my goods.
Right now I am eating local garlic and herb goat cheese on wheat crackers and admiring my peonies. To my left are HUGE shares (all organic) of chard, asian spinach, salad mix, radishes, arugula, beets, hydroponic basil and strawberries. Happy Happy Happy!! Since I suck at gardening this is AWESOME. I had the best garden intentions but right now the only things thriving in there are weeds.
Also I did some baking this afternoon for my first cupcake order and when I came home the entire house smelled like s'more cupcakes. So yeah it's drizzly and 50 something degrees out, yes I did have to turn on the heat today but in the end this day is ok. Also i'm ordering pizza tonight so I don't have to cook score. Oh yeah and the state sent me that $2,500 they owe me. (Don't ask to borrow any, I have a credit card to pay off)
Right now I am eating local garlic and herb goat cheese on wheat crackers and admiring my peonies. To my left are HUGE shares (all organic) of chard, asian spinach, salad mix, radishes, arugula, beets, hydroponic basil and strawberries. Happy Happy Happy!! Since I suck at gardening this is AWESOME. I had the best garden intentions but right now the only things thriving in there are weeds.
Also I did some baking this afternoon for my first cupcake order and when I came home the entire house smelled like s'more cupcakes. So yeah it's drizzly and 50 something degrees out, yes I did have to turn on the heat today but in the end this day is ok. Also i'm ordering pizza tonight so I don't have to cook score. Oh yeah and the state sent me that $2,500 they owe me. (Don't ask to borrow any, I have a credit card to pay off)
Friday, May 14, 2010
Things people do that make me want to smash things...
1) If I let you go in traffic WAVE THANK YOU. It's not hard, it's just a little wave of the hand. I bet you don't even burn 1/8 of a calorie doing it. It's just the polite thing to do, and really what is your excuse for not doing it? I just stopped my car and let you into traffic...the least you can do is say thank you, you rude motherf*cker.
2) Don't mass text me. I'm sorry you are feeling lonely today, and I'd like to help but if you can't be bothered to send me a message meant for my eyes only than you can piss right off.
3) Do NOT mass facebook message me unless I am supposed to be having a conversation with the other people you sent a message to. Do you realize that everyone that replies to that effing thing also sends ME a message? If you are planning an event, why not make an FB invitation? That way my inbox isn't filled up with all of your friends replies.
4) Control your OFFSPRING. If I am in a public place and your kid is running all over the place, in some instances running directly into me then you aren't doing your god damn job as a parent. There are also exceptions to this, I know sometimes people have no choice, they are having a bad day, they have to take more than one kiddo to the store ect. That's different than people who are just all "la la la I am going to ignore my kid and grocery shop because I am too lazy to try to calm then down." If I dare to go to a kid friendly place then I will expect to be plowed into...fine. However grocery shopping is a miserable experience for me as it is, I don't need your kid running up and down the aisle and smashing into me. He/She probs shouldn't be running in the store ANYWAY he could slip and fall and break his/her face. Those floors are slippery...
5) Do not try to shove your shitty opinion down my throat and then get all huffy and personally insulted when I disagree with you. I am opinionated as hell. There are times where I post articles or I voice my displeasure about political issues. I can do that, it's my opinion and it's my blog/facebook/whatever. You can type until the cows come home but you aren't going to change my mind and I am not going to change yours. I will probably just end up thinking you're an asshole.
6) I can't think of a six right now, this cranky pants blog is a work in progress....
2) Don't mass text me. I'm sorry you are feeling lonely today, and I'd like to help but if you can't be bothered to send me a message meant for my eyes only than you can piss right off.
3) Do NOT mass facebook message me unless I am supposed to be having a conversation with the other people you sent a message to. Do you realize that everyone that replies to that effing thing also sends ME a message? If you are planning an event, why not make an FB invitation? That way my inbox isn't filled up with all of your friends replies.
4) Control your OFFSPRING. If I am in a public place and your kid is running all over the place, in some instances running directly into me then you aren't doing your god damn job as a parent. There are also exceptions to this, I know sometimes people have no choice, they are having a bad day, they have to take more than one kiddo to the store ect. That's different than people who are just all "la la la I am going to ignore my kid and grocery shop because I am too lazy to try to calm then down." If I dare to go to a kid friendly place then I will expect to be plowed into...fine. However grocery shopping is a miserable experience for me as it is, I don't need your kid running up and down the aisle and smashing into me. He/She probs shouldn't be running in the store ANYWAY he could slip and fall and break his/her face. Those floors are slippery...
5) Do not try to shove your shitty opinion down my throat and then get all huffy and personally insulted when I disagree with you. I am opinionated as hell. There are times where I post articles or I voice my displeasure about political issues. I can do that, it's my opinion and it's my blog/facebook/whatever. You can type until the cows come home but you aren't going to change my mind and I am not going to change yours. I will probably just end up thinking you're an asshole.
6) I can't think of a six right now, this cranky pants blog is a work in progress....
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Why Sierra's school can go f*ck itself...Or reason #52 I wish I could just homeschool
Around noon yesterday my telephone rang.
"Hello." "Ms. Sullivan this is Principal Noonan calling from the school."
I stop breathing, my heart starts to sink...
"Nothing is wrong! I just want you to know nothing is wrong I know it's scary when the principal calls you. Sierra is ok."
Breathing resumes....
Basically she goes on to tell me that Sierra was sent to her office because she told someone she was going to "kill them." Sierra had told this person a secret and they went and told the whole class. She got upset and said that (to quote the principal) "in passing". Sierra spent her lunch and recess in the office writing letters of apology to the kid she said it too, the person who overheard and the teacher. That those notes were going home and that she was going to call their parents.
Now at first I was pretty upset because...my KID got sent to the principals office. MY KID!? The kid who spends her free time drawing pictures of rainbows and people holding hands? The kid who bandages up her stuff animals and writes us all love notes on a daily basis? The kid who hasn't had a time out since....I don't remember when?
WHAT!?
So I apologize, ask what I can do to follow up at home ect. Principal is almost laughing about it because Sierra is such a harmless little thing. Comments how she doesn't expect she'll ever see her in the office again ect.
I get off the phone, I start digesting what happened, I become LIVID. LIVID!
Sierra should not have said that, obviously it's not a very nice thing to say but kids say that to each other ALL.THE.TIME. My GRANDMOTHER says that to us. When I was a kid if I got in trouble I would say "Oh no my mom is going to KILL ME!" And quite frankly if someone told the entire class my secret I wouldn't be surprised if those words came out of my mouth. Not in a "I have you up against the wall with my switch blade" way, but in a figure of speech way.
Then I picked her up from school and I got even more upset. She burst into tears the second she saw me. She wouldn't talk for an hour. Finally when she was ready to talk about it I asked if they had explained why that is not a nice thing to say.
No.
So I explained it.
I asked if they had said that she had ever right to be upset with the person who told her secret to the whole class.
No. They didn't even bother to validate her feelings.
So what happened is they sent these letters home with the kids involved. They CALLED THEIR PARENTS to tell them what had happened and they made my child feel like a fucking criminal. Last year Sierra was PUNCHED in the stomach by another student. Did I get a phone call? Did I get a letter of apology sent home?
No.
The year before a kid intentionally slammed her fingers in a desk. Letter? Phone call? No and No.
I understand that the world is crazy today. I understand that there are school shootings and teachers need to be on the look out for these kinds of things but for crying out loud this is an 8 year old girl who hasn't even SEEN a gun. An 8 year old girl who has never touched a hair on another human beings head in a violent way. The way they reacted to this was so completely over the top and inappropriate that I wish I could just pull her out of that stupid fucking school and be done with it.
She spent all this morning crying and not wanting to go. She asked if she could switch schools, or take a sick day. I want to go in there and yell at people but I know that isn't the solution. And then I start to think "Gosh, if Scott's mom was here she would know *exactly* what to do" and then I cry.
awesome today is really starting out super swell. At least it's sunny, I think if I can get the house in decent shape (boy does it ever fall apart when I am sick!) I am going to sit out on the deck in a big patch of sun and read something lighthearted.
** not edited. In fact I doubt i'll ever edit any of these so just embrace my typos. Ok?
"Hello." "Ms. Sullivan this is Principal Noonan calling from the school."
I stop breathing, my heart starts to sink...
"Nothing is wrong! I just want you to know nothing is wrong I know it's scary when the principal calls you. Sierra is ok."
Breathing resumes....
Basically she goes on to tell me that Sierra was sent to her office because she told someone she was going to "kill them." Sierra had told this person a secret and they went and told the whole class. She got upset and said that (to quote the principal) "in passing". Sierra spent her lunch and recess in the office writing letters of apology to the kid she said it too, the person who overheard and the teacher. That those notes were going home and that she was going to call their parents.
Now at first I was pretty upset because...my KID got sent to the principals office. MY KID!? The kid who spends her free time drawing pictures of rainbows and people holding hands? The kid who bandages up her stuff animals and writes us all love notes on a daily basis? The kid who hasn't had a time out since....I don't remember when?
WHAT!?
So I apologize, ask what I can do to follow up at home ect. Principal is almost laughing about it because Sierra is such a harmless little thing. Comments how she doesn't expect she'll ever see her in the office again ect.
I get off the phone, I start digesting what happened, I become LIVID. LIVID!
Sierra should not have said that, obviously it's not a very nice thing to say but kids say that to each other ALL.THE.TIME. My GRANDMOTHER says that to us. When I was a kid if I got in trouble I would say "Oh no my mom is going to KILL ME!" And quite frankly if someone told the entire class my secret I wouldn't be surprised if those words came out of my mouth. Not in a "I have you up against the wall with my switch blade" way, but in a figure of speech way.
Then I picked her up from school and I got even more upset. She burst into tears the second she saw me. She wouldn't talk for an hour. Finally when she was ready to talk about it I asked if they had explained why that is not a nice thing to say.
No.
So I explained it.
I asked if they had said that she had ever right to be upset with the person who told her secret to the whole class.
No. They didn't even bother to validate her feelings.
So what happened is they sent these letters home with the kids involved. They CALLED THEIR PARENTS to tell them what had happened and they made my child feel like a fucking criminal. Last year Sierra was PUNCHED in the stomach by another student. Did I get a phone call? Did I get a letter of apology sent home?
No.
The year before a kid intentionally slammed her fingers in a desk. Letter? Phone call? No and No.
I understand that the world is crazy today. I understand that there are school shootings and teachers need to be on the look out for these kinds of things but for crying out loud this is an 8 year old girl who hasn't even SEEN a gun. An 8 year old girl who has never touched a hair on another human beings head in a violent way. The way they reacted to this was so completely over the top and inappropriate that I wish I could just pull her out of that stupid fucking school and be done with it.
She spent all this morning crying and not wanting to go. She asked if she could switch schools, or take a sick day. I want to go in there and yell at people but I know that isn't the solution. And then I start to think "Gosh, if Scott's mom was here she would know *exactly* what to do" and then I cry.
awesome today is really starting out super swell. At least it's sunny, I think if I can get the house in decent shape (boy does it ever fall apart when I am sick!) I am going to sit out on the deck in a big patch of sun and read something lighthearted.
** not edited. In fact I doubt i'll ever edit any of these so just embrace my typos. Ok?
Monday, April 26, 2010
A lesson in what to never say to your customers if you run a dress shop
So just for fun my friend and I went out looking at wedding dresses the other day. I was shocked to learn that people who are getting married in 2012 have already been in to order dresses. What? And I thought I was being over prepared! So after looking at a couple regular dress shops we found an ad in magazine for a vintage wedding dress shop in Orleans. SWEET! Let's GO!!!
It was probably one of the the most mortifying moments of my life. At first it was awesome, I walked in and started looking at the dresses dated 1890-1990 and I almost started to cry they were so awesome. And then I picked some to try on.....annnnnd I didn't fit in a SINGLE DRESS. NOT ONE. Too small...every effing one.
The woman who owned the shop said "Well you have a year, maybe if you lost a few pounds". To which I replied "ehh I don't think so, i'm not really a dieting kind of girl." Then I think in some attempt to soothe my bruised and battered ego she asked my age. When I replied "Thirty" she said "Well yeah you are probably at a comfortable weight for you age." Then she measured my waist and told me it was really my waist I had to worry about because everything was "very forgiving" in the hips."
I'm not sure how I didn't cry but I didn't. We left there with me feeling like a big fat cow. I came home and apologized to Scott for being such a fatty. He just hugged me and said "Those women were obviously malnourished." I fit into a size 14 in kids pants I can't be THAT fat. I checked my bmi I am at the very low end. Why did I allow this woman to get into my head and make me feel like a heffer?
Anyway I hate her. It was traumatic but I think i'm recovering. Although I'm still thinking about it, four days later so I must not be that over it. I think now I am mostly angry that I let this woman shake me and make me feel like there was something wrong with me. I don't like letting anyone do that ever, especially not some bitch who couldn't have fit a leg into any of those dresses.
*this isn't edited for typos or grammatical errors, I'm sick I don't care.
It was probably one of the the most mortifying moments of my life. At first it was awesome, I walked in and started looking at the dresses dated 1890-1990 and I almost started to cry they were so awesome. And then I picked some to try on.....annnnnd I didn't fit in a SINGLE DRESS. NOT ONE. Too small...every effing one.
The woman who owned the shop said "Well you have a year, maybe if you lost a few pounds". To which I replied "ehh I don't think so, i'm not really a dieting kind of girl." Then I think in some attempt to soothe my bruised and battered ego she asked my age. When I replied "Thirty" she said "Well yeah you are probably at a comfortable weight for you age." Then she measured my waist and told me it was really my waist I had to worry about because everything was "very forgiving" in the hips."
I'm not sure how I didn't cry but I didn't. We left there with me feeling like a big fat cow. I came home and apologized to Scott for being such a fatty. He just hugged me and said "Those women were obviously malnourished." I fit into a size 14 in kids pants I can't be THAT fat. I checked my bmi I am at the very low end. Why did I allow this woman to get into my head and make me feel like a heffer?
Anyway I hate her. It was traumatic but I think i'm recovering. Although I'm still thinking about it, four days later so I must not be that over it. I think now I am mostly angry that I let this woman shake me and make me feel like there was something wrong with me. I don't like letting anyone do that ever, especially not some bitch who couldn't have fit a leg into any of those dresses.
*this isn't edited for typos or grammatical errors, I'm sick I don't care.
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